Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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