Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
