Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
