Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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