So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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