Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
