I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
