i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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