why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
