butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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