Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am available for nakedness
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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