What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
