Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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