Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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