this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
