youre lurking in front of me
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
