so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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