well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
