you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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