All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
