I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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