We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
