You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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