I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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