i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
