Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The power of my boobs compel you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
