Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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