I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
