I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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