Need sex. Gaining weight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If I die, sorry about rent.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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