Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
