ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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