She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
