yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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