I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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