brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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