Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
