Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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