My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
