Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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