I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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