so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
