We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
