North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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