dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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