Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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