Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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