You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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