that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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