just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
