we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
