Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
