people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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