he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
